When Your Body is Made of Glass…

It must be nice to have a body that cooperates and doesn’t fall apart every 2 seconds…

I’m sorry to complain when I know I should be thankful for what I have, but I am so over being limited in every aspect of my life by the CRPS. Even though I do everything in my power to live life without regard for the CRPS (trust me this backfires sometimes!), it’s keeping me from my dreams.

My college education is horribly affected by my CRPS. I need inpatient infusions every 2-3 months and I have to miss a ton of classes. I want to go to school in Colorado for a highly specialized wilderness emergency medicine, but guess what? I can’t leave PA…

My body. Ugh. Between CRPS, dystonia, dysautonomia, joint hypermobility syndrome, and everything else, nothing works properly for more than 2 seconds if ever. I have so many physical endeavors I’d like to take on, but the reality is that some of them just aren’t safe to even attempt.

I’m an 18 year old trapped in the body of an 88 year old. I should have a wonderful higher education experience and then hopefully a career. Along the way, find the man of my dreams, get married, and have a kid or two. Raise the kids and then enjoy retirement. Why do I get the vibe that my life is not going to look this way? It’s frustrating to know that realistically, I can try as hard as I want and for certain aspects of life, it’s not going to matter…

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